Heartbreak & Learning to Love Again

 

Relationships are such a robust part of our lives. Our ability to bounce back from break-ups is such a crucial part of life. It can shape us or break us. How we handle these moments can define how we experience love forever. I’ve learned how to survive heartbreak and open my heart to let love in again in the most profound way, beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I want this for you. To heal quickly, learn the lessons and let love in again. You and I deserve to have all the love we’ve ever wanted!

If you’re curious, click here to hear the full podcast …total time 25 minutes.

 

You may also want to learn to create empowering self-love rituals while you wait for love to show up again.

Remember…

I’m supposed to be getting married today, but I’m not! Now what?!

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Today is the day, I was supposed to pledge my lifelong love and commitment to a beautiful soul. For the past few months, I’ve been sharing on social media how strong I’ve been throughout the transition, but last Saturday I was sitting at a beautiful candlelit table at my friend’s wedding reception when a flood of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I was completely blind sighted. I thought I was over it, but the reality that after nearly a decade, my relationship is over. I felt all of it deeply and allowed myself to be ok with this very natural part of the healing process. Often, when things end, be it relationships, careers, friendships or whatever we tend to bask in the past. If we aren’t mindful we can catch ourselves in the “what-if zone”. After the rivers of tears dried, I reminded myself that the beauty of this journey called life is not in the rearview mirror, it is in looking forward to all the amazing possiblities that lie on the road ahead.

In the spirit of fully embracing my “Aha moment”, I’ve decided to marry to myself (say what?!). Yaaasss, I was inspired, after I watched this amazing Ted X talk by Tracy Mcmillan, “The Person You Really Need to Marry”. It resonated so deeply with me. The first time I watched it, it just stuck with me! I believe and appreciate the power of a harmonious partnership with the right person. I now realize that the deeper my commitment is to myself the better partner I can be to Mr. Right. My new main squeeze, is looking at me in the mirror everyday. She’s been waiting for me to love her unconditionally. On the good and bad hair days. Truth is, no other person can really love us unconditionally. It’s just part of being human, but we do have the power show others how to love us by leading by example. Loving ourselves fully, forgiving ourselves, embracing our imperfections, and celebrating our own victories.

I appreciate my previous relationship, the lessons I learned and the growth that came out of it. I also accept the NOW, and I’m excited that I’ve been able to embrace a new unconditionally wonderful relationship with the person who matters most…me! Choosing to live in love and light embracing every aspect of who I am. Gently acknowledging opportunities for improvement while celebrating my greatest gifts. As a good friend of mine always says, “this journey is not for the faint at heart honey”. It is from the unexpected turns in life that we gain our deepest strength and insight. I am grateful to have loved and learned. My heart is open to loving again in an even bigger way than ever before and today I choose to love myself first and foremost.

Self love is the beginning of ALL love.

Should you marry yourself? Even if you’re already married? How would your life improve if you loved yourself a little more, criticized yourself a little less and forgave yourself a little more?

Comment below and let your girl know your thoughts.

 

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The Goddess RISES

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I woke up the other morning, rolled over then grabbed my phone off the nightstand. Turned on Love Drought, I’m really feeling this one from Beyonce’s LEMONADE album. I put my feet on the carpeted floor of my cousin’s guest bedroom where I’ve been staying for the past two months and began doing a yoga flow which quickly turned into an impromptu dance session. My locs pulled back into a ponytail, I spun around in my heather grey boyfriend t-shirt. I’m not a dancer, but I felt as graceful as Misty Copeland. My arms swaying from side to side as I glided over the carpet. I was dancing. I was transcending.

In 2006, I met a magnificent man. I had a list and he was everything on it. I had manifested him. He made me feel safe and loved. I loved him quickly and deeply. Fast forward, to August 2013. He finally proposed!! After six and half years of shacking up, he’d put a ring on it! Yes, I was winning. I felt validated. I no longer had to answer that awkward question, “When are you guys going to get married?” No longer had to feel like it was something wrong with me because he hadn’t asked me to be his wife. I could hang with the wives club. I’d made it. Started out as wifey, now I was about to be his wife. My social status and confidence, was on a new level.

Two months ago, after several attempts of trying to “make it work“, and us constantly breaking and making up.  I’d give the ring back and he’d ask for it back. Setting wedding dates and cancelling them.  I realized I needed to fix my own life. I walked away. I left a good man, with a good job, and no kids. Who does that?! A woman, a goddess, a queen that is in tune with the deeper part of herself.

Years ago when I started, a personal yoga & meditation practice I began to love myself in a way I didn’t know was possible. Gradually, I learned how to embrace all aspects of Trina wholeheartedly. My goddess energy was slowly starting to rise up. I started doing things that felt good to me which drove a wedge between us. My desire to be unapologetically me, meant I had to walk away from a man that I’d loved for nearly a decade. The life we had built together had to dissolve.

I’ve amazed myself. Throughout, this transition, I’ve never focused on what I was losing or leaving behind. My focus has been about the connection that I’m gaining with myself. The clarity of my desires and my overall vision for what I want. I’m embracing my goddess energy.

In the past, I’ve definitely been the girl who would cry herself to sleep during a breakup. The total emotional wreck girl that doesn’t try to hide it, who is secretly seeking pity from anyone that would offer it. Running home to assume the all too familiar fetal position while a trail of tears hits the pillow. I’ve only cried a couple times, since I walked away. Each morning, I wake up and meditate or just allow myself to think about everything I want. For me, it’s not about having it ALL. It is about feeling good, just imagining. Not because I need any of it, but because it makes my soul smile just to focus on my deepest desires. Those things I want, the places I want to go, relationships and soulful connections I want to experience. My whole focus, has shifted from getting somewhere to enjoying the journey. Feeling good along the way. Focusing on the good in my life as it is in the present moment. Now I know, that there is no destination I should seek to achieve happiness. The happiness, joy and connection is always available, right here and now. It’s inside me.

I thought I needed to be married and have kids to be happy. Now, I’m like I may get married, I may not. I may have kids. I may not. Either way, I know I’ll be happy. Living in my truth. Honoring my own desires. Loving myself and others unconditionally everyday is what creates my happy, my peace and clarity. At the end of the day, it is not our job to figure it ALL out. To work out all the details of our lives. We only need to seek the love within. All the love and harmony, that we long for is inside. It is not waiting for us to get married, have children, get the business up and running, lose the weight or have more money. The powerful goddess energy that can move mountains and give life is only waiting for us to realize it. Embrace it. Single, married, or divorced we are all goddesses.

 

Peace. Love and Light.  

 

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