Heartbreak & Learning to Love Again

 

Relationships are such a robust part of our lives. Our ability to bounce back from break-ups is such a crucial part of life. It can shape us or break us. How we handle these moments can define how we experience love forever. I’ve learned how to survive heartbreak and open my heart to let love in again in the most profound way, beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I want this for you. To heal quickly, learn the lessons and let love in again. You and I deserve to have all the love we’ve ever wanted!

If you’re curious, click here to hear the full podcast …total time 25 minutes.

 

You may also want to learn to create empowering self-love rituals while you wait for love to show up again.

Remember…

Finding the Balance: Self-love, Relationships, & Responsibility

 

Everyday we all juggle all the to-dos along with our want to-dos, and sometimes it can be a real struggle finding the right balance. I’ve found that self-love and self-care rituals have to be moved to the to-do column. In order, to cultivate peace and balance within ourselves and our relationships we have to make ourselves a priority. Always putting others needs before our own can breed resentment. Especially, when we perceive that they aren’t reciprocating the same self-sacrificing dedication. We are our own obligation. We must put ourselves first. Not in some narcissist, I’m the only person that matters selfish kinda way, but in a I’m going to fill up my own glass so I have something to give to you, healthy kinda way.

It can be difficult initially, to say no or put family members, significant others, and friends on the back burner while you take sometime to love on you. It is a necessary element to having a balanced life. I find that when I take time to honor myself, with something as simple as 10 minutes of calm, meditation, quietness all the way to something more elaborate like a day at the spa. I’m ready to give love, advice, support to my loved ones without feeling drained. I’m renewed it’s like I just had a red bull for the soul I’ve got wings to be an angel to everybody! Like an Oprah angel, fluttering over my friends & family dishing out nuggets of wisdom, support and laughs.

 

It’s our job to stay in touch with ourselves as we evolve. To constantly, be in touch with who we are now, what we need now, and what makes us happy now. No one can do that for us.

 

So honor yourself, find out what gives you solace. What gives you peace? Is it reading a good book, doing yoga, sitting under the stars, going for a walk, watching a good film, sitting by the pool, sketching, knitting, writing, planning your week, or a nice bubble bath? We’ve all got our thing. Sometimes, we have different self-care practices and different moments in our lives. Dr. Debra Campbell from MindBodyGreen.com encourages us to, “Be patient with yourself if some of your self-care activities take some time to flower—yoga, meditation, piano lessons—these don’t always give joyful returns overnight.” We are always evolving. It’s our job to stay in touch with ourselves as we evolve. To constantly, be in touch with who we are now, what we need now, and what makes us happy now. No one can do that for us. Self-care is our responsibility. To ourselves and those closest to us. We are better parents, friends, lovers, son & daughters, when we are better to ourselves.

What are your self-love practices? Has anything changed for you recently? Comment below and let me know.

Remember…

Clarity, Love, and Connecting the Dots to Authentic Self Love

 

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” – Steve Jobs

 

This is only one of the deep takeaways, from Steve Jobs’ Stanford graduation speech. If you asked me who I wanted to be when I was younger, it was Oprah! I’ve always wanted to invoke people with positive emotions. It could be making you, laugh, feel empowered, spark a moment of clarity (#AHAmoment). Only, I never felt worthy of Oprah-DOM!

Keeping it real, there will not be another Oprah, but there won’t be another ME or YOU either. Have you ever felt like you weren’t worthy of your dreams? I’m no stranger to that feeling. For the longest, I didn’t think I was deserving of an empowerment platform or message because of where I’m from, things I’ve done and past failures. A couple years ago, I had a chance to attend one of Lisa Nichols speaking workshops. Have you ever been somewhere and really wanted to be called on, but then once you do, you’re like…no wait, I’m not ready for this! Ok, well when I got called on stage to do a quick speech exercise on stage, in room full of 20 or so people I’d only met the day before. This was that moment for me. My heart is racing, I was hoping no one would see me sweat, literally because I had a royal blue sheer polyester shirt on. I get to the stage. The lights are bright. Somehow my mouth opens and I flow. It’s an effortless flow. Straight from the universe through me. It was powerful, people stood up and clapped. Epic moment, not because of the clapping. That was nice, but it was about a feeling, a sense of knowing that I was doing exactly what I was send here to do.

After my brief, Tony Robbins-esque speech. Lisa coached, me she told me that I played small. In my mind, I’m like okay, but I’m 5’1…soooo. She meant I hid my power, my authentic voice, my larger than life personality, that LEO fire. Pretty early in life, I learned that standing out seemed to draw out negativity from others. Shining bright like a diamond, just didn’t feel right. So I turned down, raised my hand less in class, asked for opportunities less, and turned that LEO flame into a small occasionally lit flicker.  She made me promised that I would walk off that stage and never shrink down again.

I would like to say that the game-changed right then, but it took a minute for me to really embrace the idea. Over the past, year or maybe two there’s been a major shift. If you’ve been following me, maybe you’ve noticed it. I just started asking myself, “Who am I not to live in the fullest version of me, to not do GOD’s work, to not align with the universal flow? YOU and I have a divine freaking right to live and be a light to the world.

I’m a born nurture, a healer, that’s my purpose! It’s why I’m here…do I take selfies? Yep, sometimes! Do I love hip-hop, for better or worse? Absolutely. Am I also an advocate for mindfulness and healthy living? No, question. Like, corny jokes? Bring, em’ on! Do I have an absurd affection for Beyonce? Maybe. Do I love with all my heart? Always. Have I decided to live unapologetically me? YAAASSS!!!! And so, should YOU!!

V-day is on the way, and I had love on the brain. I want to send loving vibes to my tribe, you’re my family. Just the idea that by honoring my purpose, I’m somehow serving you is the fuel that keeps me lit. Be encouraged, stay in alignment with your highest self even when the road gets bumpy, the air is foggy and the world seems so cold continue to love yourself to your fullest potential.

The best gift we can give the world is to be true to ourselves, our calling, and our unique gifts. To paraphrase, my girl Marie Forleo, DO YOU because ALL of US need the gifts ONLY YOU CAN GIVE!!

Got a minute? If so, check out this video. There are some game-changing truth bombs and inspirational sound bites from my interview with Chris Howell.

 

Live. Love. and Laugh your A%$ OFF

#whynot

Remember…

Why Self Care Should be Your Top Priority this Year

This year YOU must be your first priority! You’re probably thinking, “No, my kids, my significant other, my kids, my career, and etc.” In order to be successful, in all those areas you have to take care of yourself. 

Think about it! If you take care of yourself, you will find that it reduces stress and negative energy. You’ll be able to build better relationships, and release worries. The doubts that hold you back from greatness will fall away. Self care cultivates balance in our lives. We can fill up the people in our lives, our clients, our families if we are running on empty. 

I love this YouTube video with Jada Pinkett-Smith, where she sits down with her mother and her daughter sharing the importance of honoring yourself. It’s a little over 6 minutes, but highly recommend it!

If you’re looking for more ways to give yourself a little more self-love this year check out my 5 favorite self care rituals.

Here are 5 ways you can begin to do self-care for yourself:

  •             Spa Days
  •             A few days off social media
  •             Vacations/Weekend Getaways
  •             Prayer/Meditation
  •             Spending time with supportive people

 How will you take care of yourself this week? If you’re feeling social, let me know how it goes on Instagram

Remember…

10 Ways to Reduce Stress

10-ways-to-reduce-stress

 

Nobody really wants to talk about it, but we are all dealing with stress on a daily basis. According the to Huffington Post, “Young people are more stressed — 39 percent of Millennials say their stress has increased in the last year, compared to 36 percent of Gen Xers, 33 percent of Boomers and 29 percent of Matures.” Some of us have more than others, some us have learned how to handle it, but a huge percent of the world is stressed out! I think one of the most empowering things to learn is how to minimize and manage your own stress level. Stress is a little sneaky things, you can be negatively impacted without even realize that stress is the cause. It is linked to skin issues, asthma, depression and a whole number of not so fun stuff!

I’ll be the first to tell you that I used to live in a place of constant stress, but somewhere along my spiritual journey, from books I’ve read or conferences I’ve attended I finally learned how to what I like to call “woosah from within“. I’m so proud of my ability to really manage stress, and not freak out every time things are less than perfect. Sharing is definitely caring. So I’ve put together a list of ten legit ways I’ve learned to keep stress away, because ain’t nobody got time for that!

 

  1. Meditate – Set a timer for 5 minutes if you’ve never meditated before, but if you feel more advanced try to go for 10 to 20 minutes. Just woosah and breathe until your timer goes off. Want a little more meditation guidance click here.
  2. Breathe Deeply – I use this regularly. Take a second, breathe deeply. Inhale for 4 seconds, push the walls of your abdomen forward. Hold this breath for 7 seconds. Then slowly, exhale from your belly for 8 seconds. Repeat, as needed until you feel the tension fall away.
  3. Reach Out – When you feel a funk coming on, reach out to people that get you. People that really value you! If you’re having a high vibing convo with good people you will start to feel joy takeover.
  4. Exercise – Getting our heart rates up, increasing the flow of endrophins is a great hands on way to turn down the stress in our lives.
  5. Laugh – Ha ha! Next to meditation this is my favorite. Laugh out loud as much as possible, laugh at yourself, laugh at your pain, pull up a video on YouTube, call a funny friend, and just do whatever it takes to get your giggle on.
  6. Sing – Singing actually exercises our heart, lungs, and release the same endorphins as a good workout. Singing makes you feel good even if you don’t sound so good.
  7. Be Grateful – Before you start your day, write down at least 5 to 10 things you are grateful for.
  8. Accept that you can’t control everything – First, accept that you can’t change everything. Now, just focus on what you can control. Make choices that empower yourself.
  9. Stay positive – Talk and think about things that make you happy. Focus on the good. If the road, is rough know that you can make it through anything!
  10. Dance – Shake it! And, break that stress. Go out and go dancing with friends or just pump up the volume at home and get it!

Try these out and connect with me online. Tell me how it goes! Want more anti-stress tips?! No problem, click here to watch my latest video Stress Out for What: 3 Ways to De-stress.

 

 

pretty-motivated-3-ways-to-de-stress

Oh wait?! Let’s connect on social media…

IG: @trinajmotivated

SNAP: @prettymotivated

PM Signature