He Dumped Me, Now What?!

I’ve gone back-and-forth wondering how much of this I should share in a world where Tyrese is getting so much shade for being all in his feelings. I can sit up and post about my last workout or how veganism is giving me life, but how does projecting perfection really serve the world?

Ultimately, I believe there’s more strength in vulnerability. By somehow pulling back the curtain, letting you in on my struggle is not only cathartic for me, but somehow what I’m going through what I’m experiencing may make someone else dealing with a similar issue not feel so alone. May someone get a small glimmer of hope from this.

Here goes, I was dumped on last Saturday morning, so not even a week ago he broke up with me. I finally said clearly what I wanted. I set one expectation and he bowed out the fight. I thought, “Am I not worth the effort?”, “Did he ever care about me at all?”, “How is it so easy to walk away?”. Despite these unanswered questions, I take responsibility too.

In a world where, I fully embrace Abraham Hicks, philosophy of the law of attraction and allowing, and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now I got involved with someone just having fun. Neither of us was thinking about anything serious. Two souls living in the moment, caught in the flow. Enjoying each other’s company, no strings attached. Until, (cue the violins) my heart got involved, then my desires got involved, and almost immediately expectations showed up. I hid my expectations in the corner of my heart for as long as I could. Like a kid playing hide and seek behind the living room curtains, they kept peeking out. He noticed, we had a conversation, so afraid that I would lose the love affair that I wanted to be my last I pushed my needs to the back of the closet out of fear of pushing this beautiful soul away. I accommodated. I shrank. I was a coward. Not only would I have to confess to him what I really wanted, but I would have had to confess to myself. In the words of Kevin Hart, “pineapples, I wasn’t ready”. I wasn’t ready to own my desires. I wasn’t ready to risk that he didn’t want the same things. After spending time with him, I had realized that I wanted something serious, something meaningful, a long-term partnership with someone amazing. I thought he could be that amazing someone.

The line between loving someone else and loving ourselves is oh so thin. How does one begin to decide where and when to draw the line in the sand? In hindsight, I think I waited too long to have a conversation, so instead of having a nice conversation, a healthy exchange I waited until I waited until I popped like a good bag of popcorn all hot and ready. I went on a small yet powerful texting rampage, the heat from my fingers could have caused my phone to overheat.

So on day 5 of the breakup, what have I learned? I’ve learned that we should be honest not only with the other person, but with ourselves about what we really want because it gives us an opportunity to receive what we want. It gives the other person an opportunity to say no I don’t want those things. You can both walk away before too many feelings are involved. As much as I feel like a sucka, secretly waiting for my inner savage to pop out I’m actually proud of myself, for letting my passivity go and letting my truth flow. Well, it was more like a fiery inferno, but it was authentic. He was authentic, when he said “Bye, Felicia”.

I’m not going to sit here and say that everything is all good. I’ve learned a lesson and now I’m perfectly healed. I look forward to meeting the man of my dreams, Mr. Right, my twin flame, my soulmate. It is just freaking day five, so I am healing. I am learning to accept that we can’t change what other people want, do, or don’t want. We have to be able to be true to ourselves and not accept less than what we really want from anyone.

Set healthy boundaries in all of our relationships, friendships, and with family. Don’t be afraid to say what you want and wait to receive it. While I impatiently wait for my true love to show up I’m focusing on the woman in the mirror, loving her, giving her the life she wants and focusing on her growth, what she needs most from me right now. The end of one relationship has led to an expansion of the one I have with myself. I guess that’s the gift of a breakup.

Fitness Workout Motivation You Can Use to Stay Fit

 

Nothing wrong with being summertime fine, but when it comes to really sticking and committing to your fitness goals it has be deeper than a cute beach selfie. We have to be in it for the long term gains. Not to mention, the summer is coming to an end and the holidays are coming with all their calorie filled glory and gatherings. What are we going to do, to stay motivated once we move the beach wear to the back of the drawer? Are we doomed until cuffing season ends and spring has sprung again?! I say NO!

Just saying NO, won’t be enough, will it? Nope, it will take some shifting of our perspective and motivation to stay summertime fine all year long. Each day is a new chance for us to decide what our fitness goals are and how we can be better than we’ve ever been before. We all have different drivers, those things that motivate us to push harder, get up earlier, run faster and train harder. It’s up to us to keep those carrots in front of us, like the horse in all those tales. You and I have to find a way to stay committed to stay on the road to our own greatness, health, vitality and overall well being.

What if you fall off the wagon? What if you ate too much of all the wrong foods? So what?! Failure is apart of success. The game ain’t over and we’re not done. As long as you get up the next day and find your way back to the gym, back on the mat, you’re good! It’s not about never failing or falling, it is about keeping it moving in the direction you want no matter what. Know your why? Know your values? Then, set your sail towards that beautiful paradise marked X on your map. Sometimes, you have to recalculate the route, but as long as you wake up er’ day putting that same address in your internal GPS that’s what counts.

In this video, I’m sharing some of the ways I stay committed to my own fitness journey. #healthiswealth

 

 

Sharing is caring sooooo….Comment below or on the video. Let me know how you stay committed to your workout routine!

Remember, 

My Sort of Vlog Attempt

 

I call this an “attempt” because it’s just that, lol! My first time trying to do this vlogging thing. Here’s what I missed an establishing shot, a mic to fight off the wind which one of my YT subbies loving stated, “the wind wouldn’t let us be great”. Yeah that, all of that along with not having my phone camera sideways doing cryo so it would fit the video frame.

Nonetheless, I wanted to be fearless and shameless and share this video with you despite all of that. My vlog game will definitely get better, at this point the only way to go is up. Anywho, I know you’ll love my trainer Jay Johnson his energy, is addictive. His passion for temporary punishment to get you to your goals is contagious. Watch, critique it, laugh at it, and please share it with a friend or a few. If you haven’t already subscribed please do I’d love to kick it with you via video too…smoochies!

Remember,

 

Vegan Recipe: 5 Steps to Fluffy Vegan Pancakes

 

My favorite thing on a Saturday morning, was making Aunt Jemima pancakes for the family! I’d get up before everyone else, head to the kitchen armed with my radio and favorite CD (remember, those?! LOL). Armed with boxed pancake mix, milk, and eggs while dancing barefoot in my over sized t-shirt I’d start whisking away. It went down in the kitchen. But when I first went vegan, cooking intimidated me. I didn’t know where to begin. How do you bake without eggs? 

It wasn’t until I really began to miss cooking that I started experimenting and learning how to rethink cooking as a vegan. Initially, I’d just opt for a meal at my favorite vegan spot. I like trying new spots, but I missed cooking and rocking out to my jams in the kitchen. I’ve returned to one of my favorite spaces armed with tasty alternatives to some of my old school faves.

These pancakes are the real deal…if you’re curious, even if you’re not vegan I think you’ll agree!!! Check out the video for the full recipe video!!! 

 

Remember, 

Never Have Another Panic Attack Again

I cannot count how many times I was on the verge of a total meltdown or B***h Fit. As a matter of fact, there was a time in my life when they were all too common.

The good news is – “I am delivered!” Wait. Are people still saying that? Oh. Okay. Whatever. Who cares? You can completely avoid the urge to scream, snap back, or socially go ham on your haters. These are a couple ways for you to reel the emotions in and take a step back.

The one thing that I picked up on in my 999 BFs was how I was talking to myself. The voice that has most impact on your emotional state is your own. That’s right. Your own. The more negative emotions that we have stirring in our spirits, the more lies we tell ourselves. That’s right. We lie to ourselves. We lie to ourselves about how bad the situation is, about our own abilities, our talents, the people in our lives, our relationships, and all these lies add up to a major breakdown and our ability to see things how they really are. So, listen to the lies you tell, and then, turn it around.

You can completely avoid the urge to scream, snap back, or socially go ham on your haters. These are a couple ways for you to reel the emotions in and take a step back.

Let’s say that you are in the middle of a BF. And it’s in full swing. And you hear, “Nobody loves me!” Believe it or not, this is something I used to say to myself a lot, a whole lot. You can turn that around by saying, “Everybody loves me! Everybody loves me! Everybody loves me!” And yes, you have to do that when you do it, too.

That first time you turn your inner lies upside down, you’re going to feel fake. You will feel phony. You definitely won’t feel like you are keeping it 100. Keep it up though. This is the thing that turns the whole game around for you. It’s a total game changer. Be the hall monitor of your own mind. Stop your own inner lies before you act on things that are not true.

The reality is things aren’t ever as bad as we think they are. We always have more resources and more opportunity than we recognize in the midst intense emotions. Whenever, you feel your temp rising, and your breath gets fant and you know a BF is on the way. Don’t look for somebody else and it doesn’t matter where you are. You might say, “Hey Trina, I’m not in a place where I can be yelling all loud and stuff, and telling everybody and all these and I don’t want my co-workers in my business, I’m in the middle of my cubicle.” Take a sheet of paper. Write it down, and write it down and write it down and write it down again. If you have to write until your hand hurt starts bleeding, do it until the words have become like a cool ice drink of hot summer day, until you are cool, calm and collected.

Remember, this is a marathon not a sprint! You’ll want to keep it going. It is a way to retrain your brain and take your mindset to another level. Changing our minds and changing our bodies, is never easy. I know for me it is always hard at first, and never feels like “me”. It tends to feel like I’m pretending to be someone else. Then, one day it snaps. Suddenly, I’ve become the person I was once “pretending” to be. Take those lies in your head and turn them around, avoid the BF and move on in full control of your emotions, your life, your destiny.

What are some ways you reel yourself in to avoid losing it? Comment below. Let’s start a conversation.

 

Remember,