Self-focused conversations can leave us lonely! Just like WE want people to listen to how our day went, our stories, our jokes (me all the time, lol), our challenges. Other people, want and even need that same attention FROM us.
We have to get interested in other people’s interests. The best way to build a relationship with your soul mate, family, friends, co-workers, business partners, and even your children is by engaging them.
The easiest way to engage anyone from a stranger to a loved one is to let or get the other person speaking about something “they” like.
What’s their passion, interest, or current focus?
My fiancee is a Harley motorcycle guy, but I’m all about documentaries on just about anything. Instead, of complaining that he doesn’t want to listen to all the details from my last docu find “Unraveling the Cosmos” (on Netflix).
I just ask him questions about bikes or go riding with him. Then, as if some magical trick has happened he asks “What were you saying about that Cosmos stuff?” (Heavenly bells chime)
Why? Because I engaged his interest by asking and doing something HE likes.
Try this out on your spouse, friend, co-worker, or even the stranger walking down the aisle at the grocery store. Stop. Look over and ask them about something in their basket. Start with “How do you like XYZ?” At first, it will be awkward for you, but people will be open to you. Connection is everything.
Most importantly, it will get you talking. So when you want to shift gears to something YOU like people will be willing to listen. Please believe this will work!
The goal is a less self-focused and more others focused perspective. This is a life skill. It can be used in any area at work, home, school, dating, business negotiating, whatever…you get the idea!
Are you having a tough time connecting with someone? We want to know tell us in the comments below or tweet us @pretymotivated.
Mindful. Meaningful. Motivation.